Mar. 7 -- "In the Midst of Me"
Reading and study – Nonviolent Communication, A Language of Life, by Marshall Rosenberg, Foreword plus pp. 1-66.
Components of Nonviolent Communication: According to Marshall Rosenberg, expressing your observations, feelings, needs and requests are required components to ensure that every communication is compassionate and forthright. Considering your interactions in your close relationships, which components are always present, usually present, sometimes present and seldom present?
Include these components in a “real” conversation at least once before the study group discussion (“requests” we’ll cover next week). What did you notice about the interaction? How did it feel? What were your intentions in the interaction (apart from completing this assignment)? Would you characterize the interaction as successful or not? Why or why not?
Use ten minutes during the study group meeting to role-play such a conversation: pair up with one other person, recall a conflicted conversation that you’ve had recently; briefly describe the circumstances surrounding the conversation to your role-playing partner and spend three minutes role-playing the conversation with both you and your partner expressing your respective observations, feelings and needs.
Life-Alienating Communication: Rosenberg identifies several forms of communication that thwart the compassionate exchange of opinions and ideas. Name them and give examples from recent conversations you have had with friends or family members.
Observation and Evaluation: What are the pitfalls of mixing observation with evaluation? Can you recall a phrase you commonly use that mixes observation and evaluation? When your conversations have mixed observations and evaluations, are they generally “positive” or “negative” interactions?
Expressing Feelings: “Feel” – as in “I feel…” or “Do you feel..?” – may be one of the most misused words in our normal vocabulary. What are the typical misuses that you put to the word? How would you restate the phrases in which the word is misused to more accurately reflect your thoughts?
Expressing Needs: Most of us have an aversion to being forthright in the expression of our needs. What is your experience with this? Why do you think that you have learned to express or not express your needs forthrightly? Consider the practice of your parents; were they forthright in expressing their needs? If you have children, do they tend to be forthright in their expression of their needs? Do you see a pattern emerging?
Exercises 1, 2 & 3: After completing these exercises, consider the answers in which you were not in agreement with the author. What can you learn from those disagreements?